More and more we hear about couples divorcing
after two or more decades of marriage for any number of reasons. Some of them
may have chosen to just "hang in there" until the kids are on their
own, the theory being that the children will then have lives of their own and
be relatively unaffected by their parents' divorce.
In fact, there seems to be a universal
misconception among divorcing parents as well as friends, relatives, and
relative strangers that the adult children will be fine. That's not just untrue
- it's terribly hurtful to the young adults.
No matter their ages, our children are dealing with
the death of their family and need to mourn the loss. That absolutely does not
mean the parent(s) should continue in a painful marriage "for the
children's sake." But they need our support and understanding, too, as
they go through their own 5 Stages of Divorce Grief. The passage won't be smooth
or fast, any more than it will be for the divorcing parents.
Appendix B: The Forgotten Ones: Your Adult Children And Your Divorce
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