You're Not a Marriage Failure!

It can be hard not to feel like a failure when a marriage ends. But it can be both the toughest and healthiest decision you'll ever make. 

The following has been adapted from The Divorce Recovery Journal by Linda C. Senn and Mary Stuart, M.A.  Available on Amazon

"The only one who makes no mistakes
is one who never does anything." 

~ Theodore Roosevelt

Our Thoughts:If you are sad and feeling that you're a failure because your marriage is over, reading this quote over and over again should help you come to terms with the fact that everyone makes mistakes. And like it or not, that's how we learn.

Look at your pain, benefit from it and give yourself permission to put it behind you.

Journal Your Thoughts:Remembering that you are a good and worthy human being, and as such, you've undoubtedly made mistakes along the way - choose to forgive yourself. Journal about the positive things you'll do and kindness you'll share when you start over single. 

Whatever mistakes you made in the past 

can't be allowed to define the rest of your life!

Divorce Sickness

Your Divorce
Journal

The sometimes disorienting stresses of the whole separation and divorce process certain can make you sick! In the previous post, you learned three easy stress relievers. Journaling is another. Psychologists have been recommending journaling for stress relief, to record your hopes and joys, and to identify lingering hot buttons and why you're having a hard time letting them go.

Here is another page from The Divorce Recovery Journal shown on the Linda's Other Books page on this blog.

                 Divorce "Sickness"

The only cure for seasickness is

to sit on the shady side of an

old brick church in the country.

~ English sailors’ proverb

Our Thoughts:

Divorce can be dizzying and nauseating, just like seasickness. The point to this proverb is to avoid the irritant when you think you’re going to throw up (either literally or figuratively).

Find some place, either internally or externally, where you can be peaceful.  Slow down, take a time out, get your land legs back under you. A quiet place in nature is wonderful.

Simply identifying your hot buttons can go a long way towards helping you manage and finally conquer them.

Your Thoughts:

What are my major irritants? 

Peace ~

Lin

Post-Divorce Planning - Part 1

Whether you're preparing for separation, in the middle of the divorce process, or once again single, upbeat planning can lift your mood. Even in the best marriages, each spouse usually has one or more interests the other doesn't share, so they never quite get around to enjoying it during the married years. Don't feel guilty. Your soon-to-be-ex undoubtedly has a few, too.

* Begin making a list in your new journal. Think about topics, people, classes, events, or exploring life in general. On a fresh page, write "I've always wanted to try _________." Let the following list of "doing activities" help you get started:
(* We'll talk about journaling soon.)

1. SPORTS: 

• Solo,
• Team,
• Group,
• Indoor,
• Outdoor, 
• Local,
• A travel destination,
• For fun,
• For serious competition.

2. CREATIVE ACTIVITIES:

• Traditional handwork like knitting and crocheting,
• Weaving, large or small,
• Painting,
• Fiction writing,
• Poetry,
• Boat or gazebo building,
• Sewing or leather work,
• Nature crafts.

3. MUSIC

• Playing an instrument,
• Singing,
• Composing music,
• Exploring rhythm instruments,
• Joining or forming a group,
• Going solo, at least at first.

That short list should give you a few ideas. Each may involve attending classes, practicing, and exploring. None has to become a permanent part of your new life. 

But having that list written down is a healthy first step in creating a positive, newly single future for yourself!

Peace ~

Lin