Post-Divorce Planning - Part 1

Whether you're preparing for separation, in the middle of the divorce process, or once again single, upbeat planning can lift your mood. Even in the best marriages, each spouse usually has one or more interests the other doesn't share, so they never quite get around to enjoying it during the married years. Don't feel guilty. Your soon-to-be-ex undoubtedly has a few, too.

* Begin making a list in your new journal. Think about topics, people, classes, events, or exploring life in general. On a fresh page, write "I've always wanted to try _________." Let the following list of "doing activities" help you get started:
(* We'll talk about journaling soon.)

1. SPORTS: 

• Solo,
• Team,
• Group,
• Indoor,
• Outdoor, 
• Local,
• A travel destination,
• For fun,
• For serious competition.

2. CREATIVE ACTIVITIES:

• Traditional handwork like knitting and crocheting,
• Weaving, large or small,
• Painting,
• Fiction writing,
• Poetry,
• Boat or gazebo building,
• Sewing or leather work,
• Nature crafts.

3. MUSIC

• Playing an instrument,
• Singing,
• Composing music,
• Exploring rhythm instruments,
• Joining or forming a group,
• Going solo, at least at first.

That short list should give you a few ideas. Each may involve attending classes, practicing, and exploring. None has to become a permanent part of your new life. 

But having that list written down is a healthy first step in creating a positive, newly single future for yourself!

Peace ~

Lin 

After Divorce: Who am I now?

Along with all the practical and legal decisions in separation and divorce, we're usually plunged into that age old dilemma: Who am I now?

The longer the marriage, the more we consciously identify ourselves as half of a couple. No matter how proudly one might claim to never have "lost" him or herself in the role, we do change. Married or single, human beings continue to explore life, meet new people, learn, and grow. And divorce changes us yet again.

That can feel like a genuine loss of self. Those who are preparing for or going through divorce might benefit from taking a positive time out from practical matters and make a few lists to help identify The New You.

Over the course of your marriage...

1. What new skills did you learn both inside and outside the home?
2. What latent talents did you discover and develop?
3. In what new ways have you learned how to reach out to help others in the community?
4. What sights and sounds make you stop and smile?

Make those lists an ongoing project, and add to the upbeat feel of it by writing them in a really handsome journal. Add other points you remember and invite your friends and family to contribute their thoughts.

Keep them completely positive! DO NOT allow negativity into your lists in any way at all.
Let this be the first step towards your beautiful new self-definition of yourself as a Fresh Start single!

Peace ~

Lin