Divorcing spouses – the Leavers and the Left – generally experience
their own version of the five stages of grief that accompany
all serious life losses. They are:
- DENIAL
- sometimes
with shock and withdrawal;
- ANGER
- outward
directed rage;
- BARGAINING
- with
your ex, with God, or any other likely candidate;
- DEPRESSION
- the
feeling of deep and weighty sadness, often with lingering anger;
- ACCEPTANCE
- moving
fully into your newly single life.
Both
the Leaver and the Left will go through the process, but they go through the
stages at different times. And it’s perfectly normal to bounce back and forth
from one stage to another and back. Sometimes they may find themselves in two
or more at once.
If you feel stuck at any point, especially in the depression
phase, please see a qualified psychotherapist or counselor to help you move
forward.
Friends and family are precious, but they aren't trained
professionals. And, frankly, they may start to feel a little impatient with
what may seem like slow progress to them. Go out and have fun with them after
your therapy appointments!
Peace ~
Lin
